Your ego is how you view yourself, and a sense of pride stems from your achievements and qualities. If you give them a firm basis in reality, it can actually be good for your self-esteem. However, if you let pride and ego take control of your life, especially your love life, it is definitely going to be a problem.

A person’s ego and pride might cause one to behave arrogantly, verbally bring down another’s attributes or personality, or refuse to date someone whom he or she feels is beneath them. Often, these behaviors is a reflection of hidden insecurities. There are things you might excel at, and there are things that other people are good at but not you. Mutually respecting each other’s attributes, be it physical or not, is the key to building good and long lasting relationships. In this manner, your pride and ego will not stand in your way.

For instance, never criticize your partner’s flaws, physique, his or her looks, or compare all of these to that of your exes. You might not know it, but your words can actually cause a huge blow to the other’s self-esteem, ego and pride. So why let your pride and ego cloud your words and actions when it can actually ruin someone else’s?

A common misconception might be that only men are the ones with a huge ego and sense of pride. Well, you are wrong! Women have just as much pride or a even bigger ego than men. Case in point: Dressing up, showing off during a party. Think about it, if two gentlemen are wearing the same suit, they will most likely laugh it off, or even become buddies! But if two women wore the same dress, watch out! I’m sure we all also heard of the term “trophy” boyfriends/girlfriends. Sometimes people are so obsessed with showing off his/her partner’s wealth and looks instead of who they really are underneath.

Another common phenomenon is when it comes to playing hard to get after the initial date or introduction. Girls, it’s fun to flirt, but know your limits. Keep the guy hanging on by showing genuine interest, be honest with him, and yourself. The right amount will leave the guy begging for more! Overdoing it might push him away. Stereotypically, as a traditional female, most of us possess the mindset that men should be the one taking initiative, to confess or woo. But why wait for them when you can make things happen now? Try not to overthink things or think about ‘losing your face’. Don’t let your ego ruin something that might just turn out to be great.

To end it off, here’s a reminder to all you single ladies and gentlemen out there to be more open-minded and genuine. Put your ego and pride aside, and be more open to experiences. Get in sync with positiveness and feel free to try out blind dates set up by friends, and expand your social circle. Doing so does not make you any less capable of finding someone on your own, it is not something to be ashamed of. You never know when and where you might meet the right one.

Get into the right mindset and start a nurturing relationship today!

It is becoming more and more apparent that most women or men are sitting around, waiting for that perfect one to appear and sweep them off their feet. Or choosing to bury themselves in work and achievements, letting opportunities and love find them instead. Or even worse, going into a relationship for the wrong reasons, marriage, not for love.

These disturbing trends are particularly prevalent among modern women. Women, who are constantly evolving together with the world. As the society nowadays are becoming rapidly affluent; status, wealth and power, are becoming the definition of “Attractive”.

Many would agree that more women would prefer to be with someone who has the means or ability to provide for them, maintain their lifestyle, or one who can fulfil all their materialistic wants. Almost gone, are the good old days when women fell for romance, for compassion, for love. Instead, kindness and simplicity is over shadowed by status, income, highest qualifications, connections, private houses and the like.

What ever happened to handwritten letters, thoughtful actions, silly love poems, or just the mere companionship of someone we have feelings for? What ever happened, to love, care, forever after, mutual respect, perservrance and a good heart?
“It’s not practical”, or “A good heart can’t put food on the table.”, “Survival of the fittest.”, “A guy must first meet our expectations before we fall in love with him.” Sounds familiar? Take a look at what surpassed all the sentimental values that most people held when life was simpler.

What satisfies the heart and fills it with warmth is not the rich, looks, qualification, any sort of worldly desires. It is the love, love that can only be felt with the heart, a feeling of warmth that you get only from being constantly cared for, from being placed as top priority.

So here’s a shout out to all the singles out there, let’s all be proactive and take your first step in finding your Mr. Right instead of waiting for him to come knocking on your door! Always possess a positive mindset, and look out for the right values and qualities.
Try not to let yourself get side tracked by how guys look on paper, don’t judge them by the size of their wallets.

Take active steps in expanding your social circle, go for dating events, be open to blind dates! Step out from your comfort zone and who knows, you might just meet someone who’s right for you! Start to narrow down and hasten your search in finding the Mr. Right.
Always make the effort in looking presentable when meeting others, dress nicely, not skimpily, and most importantly, be yourself. Respect and love yourself, and others will do the same.

Remember, if opportunity doesn’t come knocking your the door, BUILD a door.

Kickstart your dating journey today, stop waiting!

I’ve been on numerous dates now, the one problem i keep facing will be the moments of awkward silence. It has been as short as a few minutes but in worse cases, up to half an hour of not knowing what to say! How could I possibly evade such a situation when it happens again? Or rather, how not to let the situation crop up again? I hate communication breakdowns!! Would love some advice on this.

Much Appreciated,
Hannah

Dear Hannah,

Thank you for sharing your concern, I’m sure you have voiced out a scenario that many can relate to! This is in fact, one of the most common problems that occur in dating- conversation drying up, uncomfortable silences etc.
Awkward silences are almost inevitable, especially on first dates. Not everyone is lucky enough to meet someone whom they can immediately hit it off with on their first try.

Quality communication requires time to develop. Do not be too worried, the other party might be having the same difficulty, and as long as both sides are making the efforts, the ice will eventually be broken!

A suggestion to consider in the event that you face the awkward situation again, or sense that the conversation is rapidly dwindling, don’t be afraid to admit it. Say something like, “I’m actually pretty nervous.” Your date would most likely be having the same sentiments or he would sympathize, and that might take the tension off things.

Some topics to consider can be current affairs, major happenings on the media, also don’t be afraid to share about your life. However, be sure to take note of HIS favourites as well, ask about his interests and hobbies! Do not be afraid to be open and honest! Sometimes it is up to us ladies to bring up new topics, or share a funny story, even if it is not funny, at least you have put in the effort. It is perfectly natural to be worried about your actions and speech, after all it is the first impression you both are making! Be patient and give each other some time to feel comfortable opening up. Hope this helps!

Wishing you all the best on your future dates!

Love,
Ella

4 minutes is long enough to spark the interest of a potential date and short enough to withstand a bad one. The problem isn’t the limited time to make an impression, but rather how to make a lasting one in that short amount of time.

Here are some gems of advice to follow.

Go to the event without expectations of finding ‘the one’, instead prepare to make friends, practice your speech and boost your confidence with the opposite sex. This is so you won`t tire and discourage yourself if your set of criteria aren’t met.

Image you want to present to others.
Stay away from the cocky and arrogant persona, everyone knows why they`re here, you`ll look like a fool if you fake aloofness. Don`t make up lame lines like :”I`m accompanying my friend, I don`t normally do this.” your so-called cool attitude is insulting to your dates and will only make the other party give you the cold shoulder.

Start with a fresh face and happy smile. Follow up by introducing yourself, many people forget this and open a conversation with :” Hi, you are? “. Ask questions that can give light on the person`s lifestyle, such as occupation and interest and hobbies. Do not touch on sensitive topics like age, weight, marital status, income. Get to know the person`s character more than his/her detailed profile. You`ll get a better gauge of how well the two of you communicate.

Remember to be polite and respectful by giving the person your full attention. Even if you aren’t interested, at least smile and thank them. If you are interested to get to know a participant better, make subtle hints to let him/ her know. Body language plays a crucial part in this aspect. If you are a girl, lean forward to listen and respond with interest. Laugh when he makes a funny comment or joke. Playing with your hair or tilting your head to the side and gazing into his eyes for more than 5 seconds will also show the other party that you are listening and thinking about his words, perhaps even considering something deeper.

If you are a gentleman, lean forward and try to lead the conversation by listening and finding out more about her (in a non-interrogating way). Only tell her more about yourself when she asks. At the end of the conversation, don’t end with a concluding statement like ‘it was nice chatting with you.’ Leave her with a follow-up comment : ‘Since we both like the sport, it`ll be nice if we can play tennis sometime’ , ‘If you like, I can bring you to that restaurant I mention about.’ or a bold question like : ‘Want to hang out for coffee later?’ Hopefully she will return the interest, if not, then hope she`s polite enough not to turn you down.

Questions to ask:

- What are some passions in your life? Do you have a passion for your current job?
- What do you do on the weekend?
- Do you prefer TV or books, what is the last novel/show you read/watched?
- What`s the best food spot you`ve been to?
- What sort of movie genre do you prefer?
- Are you a cat or dog person?
- Where do you go for travels ? or Where would you like to go?

Things NOT to share

Your Ex relationships – It`s X to speak about the Ex on a first date no matter if it`s a good or bad one. If being asked about it, steer clear with a vague reply and move on. Next!

Your marriage plans (future or immediate, yikes!) – The number one thing to send your date running. There`s no harm in wanting to settle down, but I`m sure the ‘How many children’ question can wait till later…much later.

Anything negative about your family – Be it dysfunctional or strict traditionals, don`t scare them off with stories of the negative idiosyncrasies of your siblings. Or the crazy rules and traditions of your Tigress mom. They`ll think it runs in the family.

Anything Sexual – This is a little tricky. To flirt is one thing, to tell-all is another. Bad mistake to discuss porn for a first date topic. It`s inappropriate and spells out what you`re thinking when you stare into your date`s eyes. So keep it clean and comfortable.

Your political and religious views – Know when to hold back before your date explodes into a heated debate. Keep your opinions open, do not offend or put down your date`s views. Colliding opinions kills off any brewing chemistry and leaves you with a bad taste in your mouth.

Things to share

Your fun side – Let your date know that you are a fun and easy going person to hang out with. Show them that you can take a joke, or even crack one. A shared sense of humor can put both of you at ease and make the date light hearted and enjoyable, rather than a dull ping-pong exchange of interview questions.

Your Passions in life – Being passionate about life (and your passions in life) is a really positive and attractive aspect of a person. Guys mostly like girls that are bubbly and full of life, you don`t have to be a hyper or flamboyant entertainer to achieve that. Being passionate about something shows an inner life, strength and excitement in you. As for the ladies, most would prefer a driven man who is goal oriented and decisive. Showing that you have a passion in life would definitely bring out that quality.

Your outgoing side – Whether it is your latest travel itinerary, shopping trips, or your love for adventure, show your date that you are exciting and enjoy hanging out.. outside. The occasional alone time is understandable but please do not list Facebook games and TV as one of your weekend activities unless you want to portray yourself as a bore.

Your interest in your date – Lastly remember not to focus too much on yourself. Be genuinely curious about the other person. Make sure the conversation topics are not more than 60% on yourself.

It is my first time in a committed and serious relationship. I want to make this relationship work as I really like him. What can I do to make my boyfriend happy in our relationship?

Love,
Daphne

Dear Daphne,

That is really sweet of you! Here are some sure ways you can make your boyfriend be happy and comfortable in the relationship.

1: Affirmation – Sincerely support and affirm him whenever possible. Be it on his birthday, when he succeeds in work or studies, or when he needs encouragement after a hard fall. A supportive partner keeps the positivity in the relationship and your man will feel more confident and driven in life.

2: Be a Listener – Remember to listen to him when he is sharing his thoughts and feelings. It may be venting out his frustrations at work or discussing about his favorite sport. Try restraining to ‘fix’ his situations with your solutions or deviating the conversation topic to yourself. He will appreciate your listening ear.

3: Participate – Make it a point to be interested in the things that interest him. Even if it means watching a football match or rummaging through a comic book store. Be a part of his life by participating in the things he loves.

4: Be independent – Guys like a girl with her own social life and activities. Don`t cling on to him every free time you get.

5: Space – Give your guy some breathing space. You can`t be together 24/7. Understand that he needs some time with the boys once in awhile. He needs to spend time with his own family and friends. Do not smother his social life with your relationship, that will definitely leave a guy feeling miserable and suppressed.

Last but not least – gifts of love! Do not buy expensive gifts randomly for him or he might feel obligated to buy you one. Think of personalized gifts like homemade cookies or movie tickets.

All the best to you and your lucky guy!

Love,
Ella

I keep going in and out of casual relationships and never able to hold down a committed one. Break ups are mostly mutual. I feel that this repetition is tiring and I want to get out of the string of failed relationships. I want to start dating seriously now but don`t know where to start or what my issue even is. Would like to hear some advice from you.Thank you!

Timothy

Dear Timothy,

You can start by practicing mature dating. Maturity exudes an image of confidence, stableness, calmness and self-restraint. Like-wise, mature dating involves emotional control and mutual respect and understanding from both parties.

Choose to enter a relationship with a like-minded partner who is both serious and committed to the relationship, and not a person looking for short-term fun and some temporal emotional high. When two parties are committed and serious about the relationship, it will naturally move towards a deeper level of intimacy. With a strong foundation for your relationship, problems would most probably be solved by working through issues and compromising (Instead of quick break-ups).

Also try reflecting and re-evaluating your priorities for a relationship and partner. Question yourself on your past relationships.Were there repeated reasons for your breakups? Are you always attracted to the same kind of women? Were you the reason for the breakup? Hope this helps! Do not be discourage by your past relationships, every failed relationship is another step to learning about yourself and what you need.

Love,
Ella

I have attended many events and workshops and have exchanged contacts with many ladies. However it`s so hard to arrange for a date as they are always busy with work or studies. This is very frustrating as I feel I`m just collecting numbers and not getting anywhere, I am sick of wasting my time! Why would ladies give me their numbers but not return my calls or make time to date me? Please help!

J.F.K

Dear J.F.K,

Getting a lady`s contact number is just the first step, getting her on a first date is the next big accomplishment. It seems like there isn’t a strong follow-up after those casual trade of contacts. Regrettably the most probable reason for this is – they just aren’t that into you. They probably traded contacts out of courtesy or casually to everyone at the event. One thing`s for sure. If the lady was interested in meeting up, she would have definitely made time for it.

The main problem isn’t the know-how and techniques for asking a girl out. (Trust me if she`s into you, she`ll probably agree to any place, date and time). The issue lies in your first impression to the ladies. If she doesn’t have a good first impression (or even an impression at all) of you, she`ll probably not be keen to meet a ‘stranger’.

During an event, don`t be sticky with just one or two ladies, you might be an annoyance and look desperate in the process. When approaching a lady, remember to present confidence when introducing yourself. Make them feel comfortable with light and casual questions. Stay close to general stuff like ‘occupation, hobbies, etc.’ Don’t grill her with a list of interview-styled questions! Remember to include something interesting or amusing about yourself. The idea is to leave her with an impression of the conversation you shared.

Some time after or middle of the event, go ahead and let her know you`re keen to meet up again and if she`s okay to trade contacts. Even better if you could create a reason to meet up. E.g. You found out she likes water sports or loves to travel to Japan. Why not suggest meeting her on a weekend for wake-boarding, or recommend a good spot for Japanese dining.

Be pro-active, be spontaneous, but not desperate. Try honing these skills instead so the lady gets a chance to know you better on a proper date. All the best!

Love,
Ella

The chic interior of CityGolf and their friendly service staff gave a warm welcome to the participants. The crowd mingled over drinks and snacks, some entertained by practicing their swings at the Golf stimulation machine.

The workshop hit off with some amusing ice breakers, one of which tested the Golf knowledge and creativity of different groups of participants. After which, an introductory course was given by a team of Professional golfers. The crowd couldn’t wait to grab their clubs and start practicing the basic golf stokes and form.

Putting their knowledge into play, they practiced for a friendly inter-competition for the Longest Drive and Nearest to the pin challenge. The energized crowd was then treated to a free viewing at the 1Altitude Bar. What better way than wonderful weather and a spectacular view to round up the GOLF IN THE CITY workshop!

Big thanks to City Golf and the team of passionate pro-golfers from Ministry of Golf! And to all who participated – Thanks for being such a sporting and fun-loving crowd!

Comments & Feedback

V good, enjoy this event and would encourage such events to be organized again

I love it. Thank you so much for effort to arrange this event

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